Once upon a time there was an economist named Terry.
Terry liked to do a lot of things - he liked to go fishing in his neighbour's Olympic-sized swimming pool; make love to his garden; and spend time with his beloved little badger - Mr. Thornton. But most of all, he loved looking at spreadsheets.
All day long, he would look at the tiny little rectangular cells, and wish belonging with them. All day and night he yearned to become a rectangular entity, full of equations, and the ability to produce an infinite amount of cells. One day, Mr. Warntan, the fairy godfather from the land of Grazia, overheard Terry making his wishes. Mr. Warntan was not impressed with Terry's constant whinging to become a spreadsheet. So he decided to punish him – and turned him into a text document instead.
Oh the pain! The misery! Terry, the grand economist, was now nothing but an obsolete text document. With no ability for formatting, or any cells or equations, Terry was left in despair. Now the only use for Terry was by drunken hippies, to randomly type up surrealist short stories at 4:39 in the morning – the lack of functionality of a text document soothed their simple minds.
Depressed, and filled with sad stories of pink turtles and various other LSD-infused dreams, Terry planned an escape. He called upon the great shaman king of Rangkor, Yolkles the Thorny. His title was Thorny because he had great big thorns all over his tiny fists, with which he would squeeze toads all day long.
King Yolkles was well known and feared by everyone all over. There were few who had powers equal to him. In fact, he was so clever, he could easily defend his foes and suction in their powers, hence making himself even more powerful. Unfortunately, Mr. Warntan's power was equal to Yolkles the Thorny's.
However, Terry still hoped that Yolkles the Thorny would defeat Mr. Warntan and turn Terry back into an economist - or even better, into a spreadsheet. In exchange, Terry offered to use his economist skills and connections to get Yolkles the Thorny a good land deal in a prime location in upscale London City.
Terry looked in fear and awe as Yolkles the Thorny and Mr. Warntan closed in on each other. Both raised their titanium staffs, ready to strike the opponent with powerful, ancient magic. Luckily, Mr. Warntan's mobile phone went off at that exact moment, and he had an urgent call to attend to – his cow was extremely sick. This gave Yolkles the Thorny a clear filed into giving Terry his transformation out of a text document. Unfortunately, it is impossible to turn a text document into a spreadsheet, so Yolkles had to turn Terry back into an economist.
Terry was just glad to be out of the company of drunken hippies, and happily gave Yolkles the land deal. Despite his failure to become a spreadsheet, and join other spreadsheets in the great land of Korukkar, Terry was just happy being an economist again, and going about his daily business of conning old people from their money.
He had learnt his lesson though. He decided to now stop wishing for things which he could never be, and started living his life to the fullest. He now volunteered at a local nightclub, to find and help young hippies to recover from diabetes, for they consumed too many sugar cubes.
Hence, the moral of the story is: don't become an economist, for they yearn for idiotic things like spreadsheets, and rape their own gardens on a daily basis.
Terry liked to do a lot of things - he liked to go fishing in his neighbour's Olympic-sized swimming pool; make love to his garden; and spend time with his beloved little badger - Mr. Thornton. But most of all, he loved looking at spreadsheets.
All day long, he would look at the tiny little rectangular cells, and wish belonging with them. All day and night he yearned to become a rectangular entity, full of equations, and the ability to produce an infinite amount of cells. One day, Mr. Warntan, the fairy godfather from the land of Grazia, overheard Terry making his wishes. Mr. Warntan was not impressed with Terry's constant whinging to become a spreadsheet. So he decided to punish him – and turned him into a text document instead.
Oh the pain! The misery! Terry, the grand economist, was now nothing but an obsolete text document. With no ability for formatting, or any cells or equations, Terry was left in despair. Now the only use for Terry was by drunken hippies, to randomly type up surrealist short stories at 4:39 in the morning – the lack of functionality of a text document soothed their simple minds.
Depressed, and filled with sad stories of pink turtles and various other LSD-infused dreams, Terry planned an escape. He called upon the great shaman king of Rangkor, Yolkles the Thorny. His title was Thorny because he had great big thorns all over his tiny fists, with which he would squeeze toads all day long.
King Yolkles was well known and feared by everyone all over. There were few who had powers equal to him. In fact, he was so clever, he could easily defend his foes and suction in their powers, hence making himself even more powerful. Unfortunately, Mr. Warntan's power was equal to Yolkles the Thorny's.
However, Terry still hoped that Yolkles the Thorny would defeat Mr. Warntan and turn Terry back into an economist - or even better, into a spreadsheet. In exchange, Terry offered to use his economist skills and connections to get Yolkles the Thorny a good land deal in a prime location in upscale London City.
Terry looked in fear and awe as Yolkles the Thorny and Mr. Warntan closed in on each other. Both raised their titanium staffs, ready to strike the opponent with powerful, ancient magic. Luckily, Mr. Warntan's mobile phone went off at that exact moment, and he had an urgent call to attend to – his cow was extremely sick. This gave Yolkles the Thorny a clear filed into giving Terry his transformation out of a text document. Unfortunately, it is impossible to turn a text document into a spreadsheet, so Yolkles had to turn Terry back into an economist.
Terry was just glad to be out of the company of drunken hippies, and happily gave Yolkles the land deal. Despite his failure to become a spreadsheet, and join other spreadsheets in the great land of Korukkar, Terry was just happy being an economist again, and going about his daily business of conning old people from their money.
He had learnt his lesson though. He decided to now stop wishing for things which he could never be, and started living his life to the fullest. He now volunteered at a local nightclub, to find and help young hippies to recover from diabetes, for they consumed too many sugar cubes.
Hence, the moral of the story is: don't become an economist, for they yearn for idiotic things like spreadsheets, and rape their own gardens on a daily basis.
I was looking for the like button, then i realised this is not facebook. hehe
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