What genders do you give to numbers?

The Scientific American published this article today, What is the Sex of 17? It's a fascinating read, because it discuses how and why people assign genders to everyday objects, as well as really abstract things like numbers.

I have always assigned genders to numbers - as a kid I used them as imaginary characters to play with (in my head). But usually I only do it up to 10, because beyond that the numbers tend to lose their characteristics for me, and become redundant. Here is how I assign genders to numbers in my mind:

‎0: male
1: male
2: female
3: female
4: male
5: male
6: female
7: male
8: female
9: female
10: male
11: male
12: female

I think I can do more numbers, but beyond 12 things start to get a bit too abstract. Plus, I have noticed that I repeat the genders in order (i.e. the pattern is in the same order every ten numbers - look at 11 and 12, they are the same gender as 1 and 2).

But sometimes, for example if you randomly yelled "91" at me, I would tend to think of it as female (talk about gender confusion), hence I break out of the pattern. But if I think about it sequentially (i.e. assigning the gender of each number in ascending order, starting with zero), then I repeat the pattern.

The article discusses that people usually associate odd numbers with the male gender and even numbers with female. It does not have a detailed discussion as to why this is so, but it has something to do with gender stereotypes, and how odd numbers are perceived as being more independent (?).

Perhaps an interesting thing would be to look at the physical structure of the number and see how that influences peoples' perception.

I wonder if these assignments are simply based on cultural gender stereotypes, or if there is something more primitive going on.

As for everyday objects, I used to be able to assign clear genders to them before, but when I tried to think consciously of this now (things around my room, like the side table, the bed, etc) I find it too hard.

I think I find it hard to assign genders to man-made objects, but for natural objects it's easy. Like the moon (an example from the article) is feminine, whereas the sun is masculine. Sand is feminine, but rocks are masculine. Some more examples:

Leaves: masculine
Trees: masculine
Rivers: not sure, but possibly feminine
Earth: feminine
Grass: feminine

Whereas, if you asked me to assign a gender for a mobile phone, I would look at you funny. One of my friends thinks of his laptop as a female, but try as I might, I cannot think of my laptop in terms of gender. If I really want to force myself to personify it, the best I can do is think of it as some sort of cute animal, or as a good companion.

The article also discusses how peoples' language influences their gender assignments. I think this would be more obvious in certain European languages (the article mentions German and Spanish). A lot of the European languages actively assign gender to objects (like the une, un, le, la thing in French - correct me if I'm wrong, I forgot all of my French), so maybe for Europeans who speak these languages, the distinction is very strong. For example, in French you cannot say table without adding an "une" in front of it, so it is always une table.

My mother tongue does not assign genders to objects actively, at least not all the time, but in sentences, gender-specific pronouns show up. For example, the moon and the sun would be referred to as masculine, whereas the wind is feminine, etc.

It would be interesting to see how your second or third languages influence your gender perception of objects.

Even more interesting would be to see what are the gender assignments of objects (if any) done by people whose mother tongue has no grammatical gender. A lot of East Asian languages (e.g. Tagalog, Malay) and Austronesian languages in general are as such.

Feel free to share your gender assignments of abstract objects in the comments below, as well as any other titbits you might have concerning this. It will be fascinating information for me.

Links Ahoy! (12)

More delicious bookmarks for you to feed on. Click on the title for each section to take you to the link.

Time was Inherited from an Earlier Universe

Ever wondered why time is linear? I am sure you did, when you broke mum's favourite teapot, and wished that you could reverse time.

Physicists from Caltech studied Cosmic Microwave Background, and came up with the theory that time might have been inherited from a parent universe from which our universe 'bubbled' out. It's still just a theory, but a pretty cool one.

{Daily Galaxy}


Other Universes Finally Detectable?

A map of the Cosmic Microwave Background

We all love parallel universes (well, at least I do. Do you?) But will we able to finally find concrete proof that they exist? Again, the Cosmic Microwave Background (CMB) comes to the rescue.

They have devised a new algorithm to study patterns in the CMB which show a sort of 'flattening' pattern in our universe; or think of it as 'bruises' which were inflicted on our universe when a multiverse was created.

{National Geographic}


Book of Odds

I bookmarked this such a long time ago, I can't believe that it took me so long to put this link up.

As per it's name, this website is like a dictionary containing the probability of something happening to you in everyday life. It does not calculate anything for you, but just has a collection of comprehensive data on a myriad of things, and tells you the probability of an event based on that. Still, it's a pretty cool project,and fun to browse around.

You can also use the search engine to find something particular you might be looking for. The results are displayed in a very simple, readable way. But you might not find everything, since most of the data they have is for health-related things.

{Book of Odds}


Wheel of Concept

This thing is just ridiculous, but I will link to it anyway.

You know those fuck-annoying people at work, who just spew out jargon in front of the boss, and you can tell that they have no idea what they are spewing out? Well, now you can be that annoying person too!

This is just a ridiculous concept-maker, for the times when you need to tell your boss about some new idea for your company's product, but you were passed out drunk last night to get any work done. Spin the wheel, and get your crappy idea!

{Wheel of Concept}


The Dieline - Package Design Blog

For design freaks. This blog looks at cool, innovative package design.

{The Dieline}


Cartoon Brew

I'm sure a lot of people know about Cartoon Brew already, but it has been haunting my bookmarks for a long time, so I might as well add a link here.

Cartoon Brew is a wonderful blog for anything related to drawing and animation. It introduces you to cool new animators, as well as wonderful new animation shorts or upcoming feature films.

{Cartoon Brew}


A Beer for the Shower

I found a new blog! They were featured in Blogger's Blogs of Note a week back or so. Usually I don't follow a lot of the Blogs of Note blogs, but this blog is downright addictive. Not only are they hilarious as hell, but they also make MS Paint comics (if you know me, you know how much I love MS Paint).

{A Beer for the Shower}


Twaggies

Pancakes for robots. Via Twaggies

I know I have written about Twaggies before, but back then this blog didn't look as good as it does now. So you guys seriously need to follow this blog now!

Twaggies basically picks up random tweets off the Twitterverse and does illustrations for those tweets. The results are just downright surreal and hilarious, since the tweets look so odd when placed out of context (also: people on Twitter can be absolutely mental). Not to mention that the illustrations are awesome.

{Twaggies}


Have Computers Taken Away Our Power?

An in-depth interview of my favourite media person, Adam Curtis. This came out quite a few months ago, but it's still just as good. He is discussing his latest documentary series, All Watched Over By Machines of Loving Grace.

He talks about how computers have given us a good way to organise ourselves, but we should not treat organisation as some sort of ideology. An interesting read, and try and watch All Watched Over By Machines of Loving Grace if you can get hold of it.

{The Guardian}


25 Coolest College Labs in the US

Nothing quite like getting to blow up caves using dynamites as part of an undergraduate education. Or alien hunting - nothing beats alien hunting.

{Popular Science}


An Open Letter to TV Snobs

Another hilarious little post from McSweeny's, this time against people who become all smug when they watch 'quality television'.

While we are on that topic, don't you get pissed off when people think they are so high and mighty when they tell you they don't own a television? Am I supposed to be impressed by the fact that you are some boring snob who never enjoyed a good episode of True Blood?

If you genuinely do not like television then that's fine, but no need to act so snobby about it.

{McSweeny's}

Poke Me

Poke me
Poke me, my friend
Poke me
Poke me again

I'm not the only one
I'm not the only one...

Poke me
Do it and do it again
Poke me
Poke me, my friend

I'm not the only one
I'm not the only one...

I ain't no open source
I take a different course
You gotta show some concern
When I yearn and burn...

Poke me
Poke me, my friend
Poke me
Poke me, again

I'm not the only one
I'm not the only one..

Poke me!
Poke me!

I am so delicate that a Facebook poke makes me feel all violated and vulnerable.

God Awful Reality Television

Saying that reality television is repulsive is like saying oranges are orange. But I have a new theory about reality television.

I always used to think that producers of reality television were awful, awful people, who just want to make money at the expense of filling up the airways with stupid shit. How else could you explain crap like Jersey Shore, or My Super Sweet Sixteen? These two shows are just the creme de la creme in an infinite line of ridiculous reality shows.

I have not watched Jersey Shore, ever (thank God), but people keep commenting about it online, so I have a pretty good idea about it. I have, unfortunately, come across My Super Sweet Sixteen several times on VH1 (remember the good ol' days when VH1 used to mainly play classic rock? What the hell happened?) Never, in my life, have I felt like I have nauseated out my soul through my eyes. There is only one person in the universe who can describe the horror of this show so poignantly: Charlie Brooker. Behold:



So far, so fucked up.

But I have a new theory about the television execs who make these shows: I think they are doing some sort of grand exposé about the corners of society which are totally screwed up. I mean really, think about this the next time you watch a dreadful reality show. Don't you get the feeling that the producers are gasping and bursting into laughter while editing the show? Sure they may be laughing, but they still have noble intentions - putting themselves at the forefront with crass people, just so the rest of the world can know what goes on in the small crevices or civilisation.

Every time a snot-faced bastard child yells at their mother for buying them a sapphire rather than a ruby for their birthday, I can just imagine a television exec saying in an old-grandfatherly voice, "tut tut tut, we cannot have such arrogance and ignorance taking place in our society. Let us put this young lady in a reality show, so we can teach the rest of the population that this is wrong. Also, let's make this young lady have as many tantrums as possible, so that people understand what type of horror will unfold if society keeps encouraging this behaviour".

Anyways, all this brings me to one goddamn reality show, which I have just recently come across, thanks to a throwaway comment made about it on Cracked.com (I should really stop taking their throwaway comments seriously). This show just eats the cake when it comes to shitty reality shows.

And this show is... Toddlers and Tiaras. Here is a description of the show in a nutshell: it follows around a band of crazy people who push their kids to participate in beauty pageants. The kids are all toddlers (duh), between the ages of 0 to 10 (what the heck is age '0'? When it is a fetus?).

I am pretty sure you know about it already, since it's been running for 2 years now, but if you don't here is a small taster of it. Ok, I know it is a 42 minute episode* but just watch the first 5 minutes or so:



Yes, these women are absolutely cuckoo. And yes, that was a mother of a 15 month old baby, who said that the only reason she had a daughter was so she had someone to put in pageants (if you watch a bit more, she confesses that she was thoroughly depressed about her three sons, and did not really want them).

I don't know what possessed me, but I watched 2 entire episodes of this abomination. It is absolutely awful. Forget about the fact that nothing ever happens, except the same old dribble: you are introduced to three families and their little toddler girl who will be entering the pageant; the pageant is some awful shit thing which no one would ever care about, like Miss South-West Oklahoma Cowgirl Pretty Face Princess; many tantrums follow as the poor kids are forced to put on hooker makeup and get fake tanned; and then the shit-dribbling mothers jump in joy if their little girl wins something, or call their performance "horrible" if they don't.

I am not joking when I say that some of these parents need to have child services called on them. Who the heck spray tans their little kids? Forget about low self-esteem issues, you are putting horrible chemicals in their systems. This woman even gives her 15 month old baby some caffeinated drink when she starts feeling sleepy. The mothers also keep calling their kids brats when they complain about the dress hurting them or not liking the sensation of hot hairdryers and curlers on their delicate heads. This is bloody child abuse, bitches.

If you watch the episode above further, this Ms. Oklahoma chick comes up and says, "I would personally never put my kid in a beauty pageant". Listen to Ms. Oklahoma! This woman knows what she's talking about, since she's obviously been through the horror of it all.

The poor little toddlers are just squealing and crying, because of the shitty makeup and being forced to stay up from early morning till late afternoon, all the while parading around in front of shit-faced demons. Not to mention being put through the stress of performing well to win a crappy trophy. Heck, I am 20 years old, and if someone forced me through these procedures, I would kick their balls (or Lady-Balls).

A lot of the comments on YouTube point out how bratty these kids are, but here is the thing - I would be bratty and pissed off too, if my parents continuously made me parade around on stage in shitty makeup and a fucked-up dress, while continuously obsessing over the next pageant at home.

I also don't see the point of these child beauty pageants. A lot of these crappy mums hope that their kid will become Miss America one day. Okay, firstly, there is no guarantee what your little girl will look like when she grows up (unless you are such a horrible mother that you give her anorexia and force her to go through plastic surgery). Secondly, who the heck says becoming Miss. America is the be-all and end-all of life? Does anyone even know the names of any of the previous Miss. Americas? Probably all modelling for some shitty underwear brand for grannies or working in porn.

Others point out that their kids get better self-esteem and confidence. You know what? Fuck you. I absolutely refuse to believe that. There is no way in hell that these fucked up beauty pageants give you better self-esteem.

Even if you just want to have some innocent fun, by seeing whose little baby is the cutest or talented, then why the heck would you put all that makeup on them? I think I speak for everyone when I say that these kids look cute WITHOUT any makeup on. Makeup is for later life, when your soul-crushing acne will not leave you alone. These kids, however, look like crap with that hooker makeup and gigantic hair. See for yourself:

If these parents really wanted to build their kids self-esteem and make them more confident, they would just enter them in regular talent shows, where they can play the ukulele on stage, or whatever the hell it is that kids are doing nowadays.

But by the way most of these mothers talk, I doubt they give a damn about building the self-confidence of their kid. It's pretty obvious that the main reason for their obsession is because they had a dream to be in beauty pageants, and they are just forcing their daughters to live their crappy dream.

At first, I hated the people at this shitty TLC network for making this television series. But maybe they have a noble cause for it - maybe they are trying to teach the world how not to raise kids, how not to turn them into brats and not make them look like hookers.

Or maybe they are just making shit loads of money and giving us all the middle finger. Take your pick.

=__=

*How the heck does this YouTube user get to upload a 42 minute episode?!

Cool Little Facebook "Hack" Gives Me Creepy Results

Jeremy at The Keesh has found this lovely little "hack". It is a small bookmarklet which makes it easy for you to see how Facebook lists your friends. Whenever we search for friends in the Facebook search box, we see immediate results, and there is obviously some sort of order to the friend lists because some are ranked higher than others, etc.

Well, Facebook actually gives each of the people you search for a number, and the more negative the number, the more connected you are to that person (in terms of interaction, number of friends in common, etc). All this information is stored in a file which loads up when you load your Facebook page. This bookmarklet simply makes it easier for you to see the results in this file.

Check out the link and try it out for yourself. Like he mentions on his blog, the results are a little bit creepy. Not only are your friends ranked, but some people also have been given nicknames o__O

The results I got were creepy, to say the least. Not only did some totally randomly people turn up (people I have never searched for in my life), but also Edward Cullen.  =___=

Say what?

Cute Little Cobra Hatchlings

These are new born cobra babies (hatchlings).

How adorable are they? I never used to find reptiles cute, but watching BBC documentaries about them has totally changed my mind.

Despite being newly hatched, these babies can still be dangerous, since they can bite and it only takes a small amount of cobra venom to be fatal.

Images: screenshots from BBC's Life in Cold Blood, episode 4 - Sophisticated Serpents

God, the Universe, and Other Utterances

The views below are my alone. I do not wish to impose my personal views on anyone so please don't take offence, afterall, this is my blog. I am not arguing for one view or the other (i.e. religion vs atheism), but just professing my incredible confusion over everything. 


This may appear to be nothing but paragraphs of pseudoscience mixed with philosophy, and I am sure that professional physicists and cosmologists might scoff (if they ever come across this blog entry). But I write this in all seriousness, and please keep in mind that I think physicists are the sexiest people on Earth. 

I wanted to start off this article with an elegant artist's depiction
of the universe, but then I thought that the rest of the article
is so serious, we might as well have a laugh first.  

Every once in a while, I am gripped with fear and anxiety, and start having such dangerous thoughts (not dangerous to society, but dangerous to my health). I keep thinking about vast things which should not bother me, and I get sort of philosophical.

You might decipher this from the rest of the article if I do not tell you now, but let me tell you anyways - I dislike philosophy. I don't dislike other philosophers, of course, since certain things are important to look at from a philosophical perspective. Rather, I dislike thinking about philosophical notions myself. I only like discussing things from a strictly scientific perspective, and do not appreciate the vague and wishful thinking which results from philosophical questions. But every once in a while, I get so agitated and nervous, that I cannot stop these floods of philosophical questions from plaguing me. I start thinking about God and the universe, and I know how self-indulgent I sound here by using these cliche terms, but it is true, and it is tormenting. I feel sick with anxiety and desperation, and I need to utter out these thoughts, or else I might go mad.

Firstly, think about the universe. I am sure you have a nice mental image of vastness in your mind, and of a sort of closed bubble in which everything which we could possibly experience exists. And now think about God. If you are following a monotheist religion like me, then you will be familiar with the idea of God creating the world in one blast of energy, and then creating Man out of clay, and so on. I do not follow Christianity, so I do not follow the "6000 year old universe" concept either, so for me the universe is around 13.75 billion years old. For the sake of this article, the main concern is only the idea of God creating the universe, and nothing else. With both these ideas firmly implanted in your mind, let us journey through the rest of the article.

Everything in our lives has a certain purpose - even when we waste away two hours watching repeats of True Blood, the purpose is still to entertain one self. Now, we have this incredibly vast universe, or perhaps even other universes, and we are not even sure if it is finite or infinite. When does the system completely close? In ye' olden days, our Universe was considered to be a closed system, which was either expanding or contracting. But of course problems emerged, such as our inability to explain exactly what gravity is and where it comes from. So now there are all sorts of theories about forces leaking in from other universes, colliding bubbles, membranes, strings and what not. All these forces, all this matter, sub-particles and this vast amount of energy - but what purpose does it have to exist?

The traditional monotheist view is that God created everything to place us in it. But why? Why create something so profoundly large and incomprehensible for something as inconspicuous as human beings? And then imagine a world without God, where the universe came about due to some theory of Physics, whichever it is, and that we find the complete closed system (i.e. all that can ever exist) and we have proven how it came about. But what purpose would it have to come about?

For such an ancient superstructure as our universe, we demand of it to have some purpose. What is the point of vast clouds of gaseous particles, encircling to give birth to a star, if there is no one there to explore it. We can observe anything which is near enough for it's light to reach us, but the universe is so much more vast beyond that. We might perish before we even become aware of any of it. What purpose is there for something so unimaginably massive to even bother to come into existence? Or perhaps there are other observers, perhaps stars and galaxies are conscious like us. It may be that they observe each other. Perhaps everything in the universe is teeming with life, from an ant hill on Earth, to a barren dying star at the very edge of the universe.

But what is the edge of the universe? What is the universe contained in? Say that we prove a theory which states that the complete system is that of a Super-Universe, which contains countless universes in itself, including our own. But even that Super-Universe has to have an edge, and be contained within itself. And beyond that edge is what - nothing? What is nothing? Is it a completely blank state which does not contain anything at all (no forces, no particles, antimatter, energy, etc) - but even that empty space is something. Is it perhaps an edge beyond which we simply cannot move any forward, or a point after which all fundamental laws of physics break down and absolutely nothing can function or continue to exist.

Let us take a simple thought experiment: you send a spaceship to travel to this very edge. Once the spaceship reaches that edge, does it simply turn around when faced with an impregnable 'wall'? Because the nothing region does not have any attributes of this Super-Universe, which the spaceship relies on to keep moving, hence it is physically impossible for the ship to move beyond that point, and it has to turn around.

 Or does it go through it, but then ceases to exist and becomes nothing? Surely if none of the attributes of the Super-Universe exist in the nothing region, the spaceship, which completely relies on all these attributes, will simply cease to exist (e.g. there is nothing there to support the concept of atoms, so all the atoms of the spaceship will cease to exist).

But still, how profoundly nauseated I feel, just to think of nothingness. How can such a thing exist? What is nothing? Surely everything is contained in something else? To think of Nothing makes my head spin. There are of course other theories, of other worlds or other universes, all in bubbles that collide and slide. But still, even those have to be contained in something. There has to be an absolute, complete and closed system. Or perhaps the human mind just cannot grasp such concepts. We want everything to be contained in some larger structure, like how we know that the Earth is within the solar system, the solar system is within the galaxy, and so on. Hence, the idea of infinite nothingness is incomprehensible to us.

Of course, there is Physics, our true Mother and the Queen of Nature, the most beautiful and graceful science there ever was. How it is omnipresent in all situations, and governs the course of all things. It is enthralling and brings chills to my bones.

There are theories that life forms naturally, through processes that are governed by physics (i.e. no intelligent design - just physics). But it is this beauty of physics which has enchanted me but also left me in such a turmoil. All those years ago, reading about quantum physics, and about other worlds, waves, particles and things even smaller than the sub-atomic ones, the serenity of entanglement, the multitude of dimensions - they left my mind in such a turmoil. By that time they had only taught us the most basic of things in school - the structure of the atom, electrons orbiting, etc. Never in my life could I  have thought of such simple complexity to exist in a science - it was powerful and it was frightening.

Now things are being discovered at an even more accelerated rate, all these alien elementary particles, which are hypothetical, yet without them the universe does not work. All these theories almost seem like philosophy (which I hate, for being all sloppy and inconcrete), but of course it is not philosophy. It is proven (most of it) and agreed upon by Phycisists all over, and engraved as a full science. Not only does it work when you put it in equations, but some have been proven by experiments (e.g. entanglement).

Why, why, why - what reason would they have to exist? The stars, the immense galaxies and the entire universe, so far away and unfantomable by even the most creative of minds. Why would such an immense landscape exist, for infinity? Why would it have a reason to come into being at all? I am sure there must be countless philosophers, scientists and theologians who have pondered these questions since the dawn of our era. We have arguments on what is existence and why we are here, as well as beautiful theoretical physics on mother membranes, many worlds, frozen time, colliding universes and bursting bubbles. So elegant and so charismatic - but they don't stop you from feeling so profoundly alone. No matter how much we study things, it doesnt change the fact that it is impossible to explain why these things come into existence. What purpose could they possibly have? What was that first initiative, at the Singularity, which made the universe want to come into existence.

Physics provides us with so many answers and so many theories on how our universe came to being. But not why. Some scientists have moved on from the Big Bang and the Singularity, and gone onto colliding bubbles and such, but there is no root to the problem. Why should the universe exist at all? Why should anything exist at all? It is incomprehensible for something to take up so much energy and matter simply for the reason to exist. To be there for no other reason than to be there.

Every time there is a new theory, it is just like staring at a fractal structure and not knowing it. You keep looking and looking, but there is no beginning or end. You cannot grab hold of the root, and there is no such thing as the "big picture" - you just keep zooming in and out, ad infinitum.

Imagine what it would be like, for there to be no God, but only Physics. Everything would exist because of natural processes, with no divine intervention. Such misery it would be, to not understand God. How profoundly alone we would feel. Without God, why should all these things exist?

Furthermore, the universe is so vast and ancient that in our fleeting eyes, which are filled with myriads of purposes and the concept of an inevitable death, the idea of infinity has no purpose. Certainly we can appreciate it, but we cannot fully grasp it in our minds. The idea of infinite anything which concerns the physical world is inconceivable. You can put infinity in mathematical equations and such, but you are just using it in an abstract way, away from reality (and mathematics is great for that - for abstraction of real life situations to make calculations much easier).

Whether or not you are religious, there is always that idea of infinity after death which is so haunting. Say you are religious and you believe in the concept of heaven and hell. After you die, you go to one or the other; or go to hell for a while, and after you have repented, go to heaven for eternity (as is the case of my religion, but only if you are monotheist). But can you imagine, being in a place for eternity? For an infinite amount of time you will be in this place - immortal, away from disease and any oppression, forever with God. Even as a child I found such a concept rather stifling and abstract. How can you even comprehend eternity, when you are so used to the fleeting pass of life? And then childish notions come to your mind - wouldn't you get bored? What would you do for eternity? It's so suffocating and strange. Heaven is more frightening than hell - at least in hell you know that there will be an end to it. But heaven is forever, an eternal bliss.

Say that you do not believe in God and/or an afterlife, and that death is the end of all. But can you imagine what it would be like? Imagine, at the point of death, when the last of your life leaves you and your brain and body functions shut down. What happens? Does your consciousness cease to exist? It would be like falling into a black endless abyss, with your conciousness and thoughts snubbed out in an instant and you just don't exist anymore. Isn't it rather stifling to think of such thoughts? One moment you are there and you exist, and the next moment - nothing. It is that nothingess that frightens me the most, I cannot comprehend it, even for a second. You are so used to existing and occupying space, not just physical space, but a mental space, a stream of conscious thought and a place to voice your views and talk to yourself. Call it consciousness, or your soul or mind, or whatever - but how can such an incredibly personal thing cease to exist? Maybe it doesn't, maybe our consciousness becomes one with the soil, just like all the atoms that make our body. You wouldn't know until you have died.

There are logical parts of my mind which scream for me to think about God in a rational way, devoid of emotions. The idea of a woman being created from the limb of a man, the temptation from a snake and then being thrown out of paradise to labour on Earth - everything seems like a rather convenient way to explain all the ills of our lives. The idea of a grand place from which we were thrown out, and to which we will return one day (if we do enough good in our lives) is very typical of other creation legends used throughout human history.

But when I think about having no God, I feel a sickness of the soul and I fall in despair. To have nothing to look forward to in life, other than the abyss of death, is too profound of an emotion for me to bear. I need that connection with something higher than me, some abstract concept of a being, as a form of escapism. All those questions above: the ideas of infinity, existence and nothingness, they all seem unanswerable without God and suffocate me.

Sometimes I feel so ashamed to be thinking of such concepts. I want to be a concrete scientist, to build theories and test them. But I feel so overwhelmed by all these thoughts, that I always dwell on them. How torturous it would be, to have perished without knowing all these truths of nature. All these everyday concrete tasks of breathing, making money and giving birth to children - all are so obsolete and almost disgusting when compared to the grace of the rest of the universe, and how insignificant we appear in front of it. It overwhlems me and makes me feel nauseated.

Her wonder was so strong that she had to clutch the rail to keep from falling.


The sight filled the northern sky; the immensity of it was scarcely conceivable. As if from Heaven itself, great curtains of delicate light hung and trembled. Pale green and rose-pink, and as transparent as the most fragile fabric, and at the bottom edge a profound and fiery crimson like the fires of Hell, they swung and shimmered loosely with more grace than the most skillful dancer. Lyra thought she could even hear them: a vast distant whispering swish.


In the evanescent delicacy she felt something as profound as she'd felt close to the bear. She was moved by it; it was so beautiful it was almost holy; she felt tears prick her eyes, and the tears splintered the light even further into prismatic rainbows. It wasn't long before she found herself entering the same kind of trance as when she consulted the alethiometer. Perhaps, she thought calmly, whatever moves the alethiometer's needle is making the Aurora glow too. It might even be Dust itself. She thought that without noticing that she'd thought it, and she soon forgot it, and only remembered it much later.


Northern Lights, by Philip Pullman, Chapter 11 - Armour

Imagine dying  without knowing all these mysteries of the world - what a terrible waste it would be, to not have experienced such awe and beauty in your lifetime.

Draw Some Bunnies!

The Guardian posted this cute little tutorial by Simone Lia, on how to draw bunnies. Go ahead :)

Morning Clockwork

the horror
of "looking forward" to another day
the same faces
the same dreary faces
grey as if etched out on lead

I hate waking up in the morning,
the damp wet air,
the coldness of dawn,
sending chills,
to these already chilled bones

feet on stinging tiles
into the shower
warm liquid and sick toothpaste all over
the cereal is like cotton
tasteless and fluffy
I vomit out the milk

join the throng
heavy feet
one by one
thump thump thump

all through wonderful, shiny automated doors
onto the lustrous, opulent granite floor

same faces
bloody butched up wacky faces
M.A.C faces,
polished sexed up doll-faces,
long faces,
puffed faces,
casually coifed new-age faces

models and monsters
all scrambled together

I'm so fucking annoyed
of this spiritless existence
every
single
fucking
day

same old people
facebook 'friends'
I have two-hundred million of them
twats

sometimes I wonder
what a cunt I am
for never forgiving this life of mine

thinking back to that BBC
documentary
the one about people and whales
the people of the islands
ones who go under sea ice for clamps
and think why I complain so much

in this air conditioned room
bedsheets made in China
and a Taiwanese laptop
from a top-notch Taiwanese tech spot
I wonder why I can't look forward to anything

this selfish fucking brat that I am
I wonder if those islanders
those whale-catchers
I wonder if they get as unhappy as me

how strange that me
this gutless wrench
thinks about unfairness and depression
when I have no right

but what to do
I am bored

bored of the same faces
same routine clockwork
same cold morning air
of seeing the same fucked up selfish brats
mirrors of me
all these people, in this wonderful economy
surrounding each other
with menace and boredom.